Thursday, April 30, 2009

The 16 Days of Working -- Day 6

This is the longest week of my life. I'm starting to crash at about this time of the day everyday now. It's awful. The only thing we look forward to is dinner. Sad.

I made myself get on the treadmill last night after my 12 hour workday. I ran for about 20 minutes, but faster than I usually do, to try to save time. I've been feeling a smidge guilty that I'm not getting regular exercise. Then instead of falling asleep quicker, I couldn't close my eyes until after midnight. Today everyone's telling me how tired I look. Um yeah, I'm tired. Surprised?

What's with all of this swine flu talk anyway? Why do people panic about these things?

Monday, April 27, 2009

The 16 Days of Working -- Day 3

I managed to make it to work by 8am - a small miracle, as I'm compulsively late for everything, at least a little.

I also peeked at the scale this morning and it shows me down 1 lb. Tomorrow is officially my weigh in day though, so I'll wait and see what it says then. After WI I'm going to adjust my points to have a stay the same week until the next couple of weeks are over with. I figure it's the best I can hope for.

People are already driving some of us nuts. The room we're all working in is a bit overheated due to all of the computers we have running. One girl (wearing a wool sweater) is already complaining of how hot it is. Um, ya think wool sweater girl? :-S

Sunday, April 26, 2009

The 16 Days of Working -- Day 2

Ugh, it is going to be so incredibly hard trying to eat healthily for the next two weeks.

This morning we went to Subway for breakfast. She told me it was delicious and I had never tried a breakfast sandwich from Subway before, so off we went. It proved to be a hilarious first time visit. It was the first time the girl working had opened a store in the morning. She didn't even have the register functioning, so we just got her to calculate our totals with a calculator from the back room. It was funny, but we felt pretty bad for her.

For lunch, Quiznos. To me, there's only 1 choice there anyway, the honey bourbon chicken. And it was good, but I'm burning through my daily points like a mad woman!

Saturday, April 25, 2009

The 16 Days of Working -- Day 1

It's finally here! The first day of the 16 days, plus the 4 days from last week, if anyone's counting those.

I came in prepared. I bought myself lots of great groceries to have on hand for the time we're here, so that I can snack when I want and won't always only have the option of take out pizza and chinese.

Got myself:

Skinny Sticks
Baby Carrots
Skinny Cow Caramel Vanilla Bars
Almond Breeze
Optimum Slim Cereal
Canned Salmon
Ezekiel Bread
Pumpkin Seed Butter
Skim Milk
Dried Prunes

Now I can't wait to eat... *sigh*

Took the dog for a walk around the lake this morning too - it was gorgeous. Today's the warmest day we've had yet. *sigh*

Friday, April 24, 2009

The 16 Days of Working

Tomorrow is day 1 of 16 days of 12 hour shifts. Ugh!

The good news is that I will have lots of time to complain about it here.

Some bad news tidbits include: extreme exhaustion, whiny co-workers, take out food daily, no exercise time, no baking/cooking time, and no puppies at work.


My Dark Night

I suffer from depression. I don't publicize it, but I think I want to talk about it.

I have always been an over-thinker, to the point where I could exhaust myself, even as a child. My mother took me to doctors wondering what was wrong with me. I even had to be treated with medication to help turn my mind off so I (and my parents) could sleep at night. I worried incessantly, mostly about things most kids didn't even think about. It was really hard on my family, and it made it worse for me to find out that my younger sister wasn't like me. She was easy to deal with, and happy go lucky. It really made me feel like I was a burden on Mom and Dad. So I would try to be more like my sister and internalize my anxiety, which made it that much worse when I found out I couldn't internalize it for long and had outbursts of emotion. It wasn't easy for me to make and keep good friends. I spent a lot of my time alone, drawing or reading.

I was a fat kid too, constantly being subjected to open criticism from my peers. The first time I tried to lose weight, I was 12. A baby really. And it hardly worked. It was horrible.

As I got older, I learned to handle my feelings a bit better. I'd say the most comfortable I was with myself was in high school, when I had the most friends. I met my best girl friend when we were almost in high school, and I had finally found a friend I could trust. *Love ya Ky* I also met my first serious boyfriend, who was good to me. *Thanks Dan* But the rest of my friends were toxic.

When it came time to go to university, the misery returned. My best friend and I were going separate ways, since I didn't think I could handle being too far away from home. I was going to be alone again, left with the group of toxic friends.

Surprisingly though, I made some friends quickly, something that was necessary to survive in my faculty. The next 5 years were a real test for me. I had my first bout of debilitating depression. I self-medicated a lot with alcohol and whatever dose of anti-depressants I felt like taking on any given day. I had a boyfriend that was more emotionally unhealthy than I was. I learned all about the evils of binging and purging. My friends mistreated me and took advantage of me. I'm still not sure how I survived, seriously.

Finally something happened. I still don't know how, or what, but something changed. I started sticking up for myself. I didn't let my friends walk all over me anymore. I told them how I felt, and most of them rejected me. Not that I didn't think they would. So I left my house in the city and moved back in with my parents for a while. It was another very difficult time, since I felt so alone. But I was alone with those friends anyway, so ultimately I was better off. While I lived with my parents I reconnected with lots of friends from my past, and lots of new friends.

Geez, this must be boring to read.

Anyway, things started looking up for me. Ridding myself of my toxic friends was the best thing I could have ever done for myself. I still miss some of them, but I'm not willing to put myself in that position ever again. I bought my first house in the country, lost 70 lbs, met Stephen, I sold my house, we moved in together in the city, bought another house, got the dog.

I still live in fear though. Fear that the depression will return, that my life isn't what I really want, that I'm not living up to my potential, that I'm in the wrong career. I'm unsure of what I want, and I feel like time is running out for me. Sometimes I'm uncomfortable with my own thoughts and feelings, and that's just not a great place to be.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Joel Plaskett Was Awesome!

What a great show last night!

He was so painfully and wonderfully maritime! And funny! And incredibly slight.

He had his dad Bill, Rose Cousins, and Anna Egge playing with him. They're all joining him on this tour. Last night was only his second stop too, so if he's playing near you I strongly encourage you to go see him. Really entertaining.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

My 100 Miles

There's a new show on the Food Network on Sundays called 'The 100 Mile Challenge'. We've been watching it, and finding it very interesting. It's really made me much more aware of how I can support and find local farmers.

So this map shows my 100 miles. We have lots available to us in our area, or so we realized after looking. We even have an organic flour mill in Speerville!

Lose Weight Through Vibration?

T-Zone Vibration Technology:

Apparently people are paying $60/month to use these machines. One of my members told me about this last night at the meeting. Her sister does this. And she says her muscles hurt after being on it as if she just worked out. And she's lost 27" all over her body. Really? Please note: this woman's sister hasn't actually lost any weight. And I guess if you measure every part of your body you can, you're going to see a bit of a difference, aren't you? They might be measuring her at 40 different spots!

Apparently this stimulates your muscles without you knowing it. Didn't Bruce Lee develop some kind of machine like this after he was in an accident?

Any thoughts?

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Confessions of a Splenda Junkie

After long last, I've finally made it back to goal. FINALLY. And I did it after reading a great book, and taking the advice I always give to my WW members. When my members reach a plateau, they usually grab me after a meeting and hit me up about what to do. The conversation usually goes like this:

Member: "I need to ask you something. I'm staying OP all week, and it seems like no matter what I do I just can't lose any weight - can you help me?"

*Please note: this member always looks like they've either been hit by a truck and didn't mind it, or they look like they would rip a chocolate bunny out of the hands of a six year old, then proceed to bite Mr. Krispy's ear off right in front of this child. Sometimes I let out a little giggle when they look me in the eye, to hide my fear.

Me: "Are you getting in your fruits and veggies, and the rest of your healthy food servings?"

The member ALWAYS says yes.

Me: "Then you have to take a good look at the foods you're eating other than your healthy choices. Are you eating enough? Are you eating your Flex and activity points?"

The answers vary, but this is often where the ugly truth comes out. Usually people are filling their days with 100-calorie packs, or they aren't eating enough. I stress to them that it's really important to take a look at the quality of the calories they're taking in, not just the amount.

Every time I struggle with a plateau I learn something. This time I had to take my own advice and look at what I was eating. This, in combination with Jillian's new book, are what finally got me back to losing the extra 10 lbs I've been carrying around since fall. I was eating a lot of chemical crap - diet pop, artificially sweetened EVERYTHING.

So I went back to basics, eating whole foods. No artificial anything. And it actually WORKED. And it's for good, forever. I'm not going back to being a Splenda junkie.

Since I'm a huge foodie, you wouldn't think that I'd try to scrimp and scrape by on low calorie alternatives for real food, would you? Well I did. And it didn't pay off. My food tasted worse and ended up stockpiling chemicals in my body. NOT GOOD.

Now that I've rid myself of the Splenda, the extra weight seems to be falling off, without a whole lot of effort on my part - a big change from a month ago where everyday was a struggle and I wasn't losing an ounce. In fact, I was gaining.

Eating Chemicals + Exercising = Gaining Weight Anyway -> BAD

Eating Real Food + Moderate Exercise = Losing Weight Without Thinking About It-> GOOD

And, to top it off, I haven't had a pimple since I made the change! That is huge for me.

So sing it with me girls, "Don't you put it in your mouth..."