Friday, May 28, 2010

The 'Before' Bucket List, and the 'After' Bucket List

Let's talk about death for a minute or two. Don't like talking about death? Does it make you uncomfortable? If so, you might want to wait for tomorrow's post then.

Alright, is the room clear of those who are hoping we all live forever and/or those who don't want to think about the fact that we don't?

Good. Let's go then.

We were driving on the highway to my parents' house today and on that highway were crosses marking places where people have died in various accidents over the years. My friend Tommy's memory is commemorated on that highway by a cross. The 7th anniversary of his death was last month. He was one of the best people I'd ever known, bar none.

The crosses on the highway got me thinking. I'm not the least bit afraid of dying, not even a little bit. I think there are lots of great things to look forward to after I kick the bucket. We should be making 'Before' bucket lists, and 'After' bucket lists. It also made me realize that even in death, I'm going to be a bit particular about what I want:

1. If I die in an accident on a highway, I DO NOT want anyone to place a cross where I passed to commemorate my memory. I think that it is fine for those who have done that for a family member that has passed, but I don't want anyone doing it for me. I don't want those who love me to be forever reminded of where I took my last breath on this earth. I also don't want anyone to have to care for this "monument" so that it doesn't lose it's luster over the years. And in all honesty, it would hurt my feelings even in death to watch the monument diminish over time because no one still cares for it.

2. When I die, I would like my body to be used in the best way possible, all of it. If the death of my body can breathe new life into someone else's, I think that's a wonderful thing. Imagine all of the lives that can be changed that way, and the ripple effect. It's just phenomenal. I'll smile down from Heaven at that. Oh, and you can just cremate whatever is left over.

3. If you'd like to cry when I die, I'm not going to tell you not too. I think that's completely unreasonable. I think it's important to cry. I mean, think about how many people get messed up because they weren't allowed to cry, or were told not to cry. I'm not contributing to that kind of emotional catastrophe. That nastiness can seep into generations of non-emotionally-traumatized people.

4. I'd really like to have a say in what will be served at my funeral reception. Typically, where I'm from, this includes a myriad of little sandwiches and pickles, followed by little cookies and tea. I'm OK with a lot of that, since I know this is pretty customary. At the very least though, I'd like the following sandwiches to be served: asparagus, ham and cheese, and PB and jam. And funeral pickles - gherkins. That's what I'd like if we have to stick to the customary stuff.

If I really had my choice of food at my funeral reception, we'd eat the following: corn on the cob with blue cheese butter, grilled eggplant sandwiches with goat cheese on rye, cheese paninis, margherita pizza, smores, and cake and ice cream. All in copious amounts. Among other things. Food is just too delicious to be limited, especially if it's the meal AFTER your last meal.

So there, now you know. Don't you think about your death?

3 comments:

PunkRockMom said...

Man...it's so good to know I'm not the sole loon:-P

The don't fear death so much as it pisses me off. I don't wanna miss out on stuff dammit. Think of all the cool stuff that's gonna happen to the kiddo as he grows older, as the grand kids grow older, as science and people evolve...okay, the people evolving part might just be hopeful on my part.

Stupid Aerosmith and their "Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" song does me in every time.
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You know that my nick name is Pickle right? But did you know that Ken's brothers all call me Gerkin because I'm such a little pickle? Hmmm....I am a funeral pickle. Cool;)

Angela Power said...

Now THIS Is an interesting post! I don't know if I'm "afraid" of dying but I'm definitely not at peace with it yet at this point in my life. I wish I were because it's not a good feeling to fear the inevitable. I was in a really bad car accident a few years ago which could have taken my life easily and almost did our friend and I think itmay cloud my vision of what that day could someday "be like" since it could have been that day and was traumatized from that I think. But I do imagine it not really happening until I'm really old, grey and feel content with all I have done in my life which is way more comforting.

If my "time" was that car accident or another sudden event that left my body in good shape to help another person(s) I am ABSOLUTELY with you on wanting to benefit as many people as possible. No question. But I hate the thought of choosing cremation or burial - maybe that means that I AM afraid?!

It never even occurred to me to think about the food served! I got the biggest kick out of that! I like your style! ;-)

Susan said...

Hi! Just found your blog! I JUST moved from Fredericton. I lived there for 5 years and am currently in Moncton until next week when I'm off to Toronto! Small world - not many New Brunswick bloggers.

Interesting post, I've been thinking about death a lot over the past day as I know some of the kids who just died in a car accident outside of Riverview. It's so sad it almost makes me feel ill. Whenever I do go, I've told my family I want to be cremated, with a traditional anglican funeral, and buried at the old graveyard near my cottage in Nova Scotia.