I'm Throwing Myself Out of the Nest...

and into the big world, without my points tracker.

I made the decision on the weekend to stop tracking points, maybe not forever, but definitely for a while. I think I've finally mastered maintenance, and that I've made lasting changes in my life that will allow me to maintain my weight loss without always thinking about the point value of a food. So it is time for me to cut the ties from my points tracker and cancel my online Weight Watchers account.

I know that weight management is a life-long process for those of us who have a history of weight problems, but I think that my weight loss journey taught me enough about moderation and balance for me to make a go of it on my own. The problem I have found that I have developed throughout this journey is that I have become obsessed with the numbers. I have lost much of the enjoyment that comes with life and eating because I am focusing too much on the numbers. I don't want to live my life that way. Even though I am living a physically healthy lifestyle, I have to begin to live a healthy lifestyle, both physically and mentally. I feel like I have become trapped mentally, and this is not a healthy way to be.

I am going to take the lessons I've learned, the healthy habits I've developed, and the healthy foods that I've grown to love, and I'm going to live my life the same way I do now, without focusing on the numbers. I will treat myself, and I will not allow myself to feel guilty for any of the choices I make. I will continue to keep exercising regularly. I will make good food choices - I will eat proper servings of whole grains, fruits, vegetables, and lean meats and dairy - the same thing I do now. I will live a healthy, well-rounded lifestyle, without the mental trap I've allowed myself to develop.

I will weigh in regularly to ensure that I stay on track. I will maintain my lifetime status with Weight Watchers, weighing in at a meeting at least once a month. I will continue to frequent the Weight Watchers message boards, as I would miss the support and the friends I have there. Not to mention the crazy conversations I often don't dare to comment on...

I have chosen a 10-lb weight range that I will stay in. If I stray out of this range, I will begin counting points again until I am back to where I would like to be.

I'm scared to death, but I know I'll be fine, nothing will be any different, except that I will feel free from the number crunching. It will make me ultimately happier than I have been. This is the last part of my weight loss journey, and I'm going to go conquer it now...

*GULP*