Friday, September 30, 2011
The Hidden Beauty in Leftovers
I know this is going to make me sound like a total loser, but I'm really proud of myself. We were having salmon and broccoli for dinner. I also made pickles last weekend, so now they're on the plate too, along with two other last minute additions: potatoes and corn. Caloric disaster for dinner.
I'm eating my way through my meal, mulling over how I'm going to be able to still have cookies later (Sad I know, but this is my thought process). Then it occurs to me that I don't have to eat everything on my plate! *ding, ding, ding*
For the first time in many, many months, I did not clean my plate. I am so proud of myself for actually taking the time to think about it before I just mindlessly shoved the food (albeit, really delicious food) in my mouth.
For later? Cookies without a side of guilt!
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Birthday Challenge
I've gained a significant amount of weight over the summer. Like, 25 lbs significant. Now I need to get that weight back off. Here's the deal:
Start weight: 169.2 (as of Sunday)
December 20th Birthday goal: 144 (149, adjusted)
That gives me exactly 12 weeks, from today, to lose 25 lbs. Now I know that means that I'll be trying to lose more than 2 lbs per week on average. I know how incredibly difficult, and for me probably near impossible that is. But it's a goal and I'm still going to do my best to try for it.
What makes me think there may be hope is the last time I was in this predicament. When I started WW the first time, back on October 17, 2006, I had 20 lbs off by my birthday. That's 3 weeks less than this goal is allotting me, for the extra 5 lbs I'd like to have off. I know things are different now - I'm 5 years older, I'm starting 30 lbs lighter than I did then. I know. But it's a goal.
Honestly, I'd certainly be happy with 20 lbs. Instead of setting myself up for failure, maybe I should set the goal at 20 lbs. That's 1 2/3 lbs per week on average. Yes, let's shoot for that. If I happen to push myself enough to lose over 20 lbs, that will be a total bonus.
It's time I force myself uncomfortable again, other than in my tighter than normal jeans. It's time for me to set boundaries and muster up some stick-to-it-iveness.
Here goes nothin'.
Monday, September 26, 2011
You're Never Far Away
Jim and I met during my first semester of university. I was scared and confused and lost. I hired Jim to tutor me. Jim was two years my senior in our classes, several years my senior in age, and eons my senior in wisdom. I had no idea when I hired this complete stranger how important he would prove to be to my university career and my life.
Jim and I developed a fast friendship, and soon we were meeting much less for tutoring and much more for talking over coffee and drinks or to party with friends. Throughout the course of my university years he taught me so much about life and about people and how to deal with both. He helped me understand and conquer my anxiety and depression, which was much more serious than I gave it credit. He generally made my life, which I thought was miserable, much more bearable and enjoyable. He was a stable, steady force that I could always count on, even after he moved on in his life, following his career to another province.
I will remember so many wonderful things about Jim. In fact, I don't know if I even have a bad memory of him. I can still hear his large, boisterous laugh. I can hear his unwavering voice when he needed to be serious. I can feel his giant bear hug coming right when I needed one.
Jim, thank you so much for being my friend. You helped me become who I am, and you helped me realize that being myself is just perfect. You helped me understand and see the world in a positive light, even when it was so much easier to see the dark parts. You helped me see the dark parts for what they were - just spots that needed a bit of light shone on them. Your wisdom was not wasted on me, and I will continue to live my life trying to teach some of what you've taught me to the others in my life.
I love you dearly, and will miss you very much. I'll see you soon, but not too soon.
Friday, September 23, 2011
It's Fall!
One of my most favourite things to do, especially during the fall season is cuddle up with a warm drink and a book. If I can get to a Chapters with a Starbucks, even better. Fancy coffee and more books than I could ever read = bliss.
I tend to opt for cookbooks, or diet and nutrition books most of the time. It just seems I can't get enough of diet books lately, and I have a pretty significant collection as part of my home book collection now. It doesn't even matter if I know I will never follow said diet - I just love reading the science behind diets and just about nutrition in general.
With that said, I thought I'd share a link to US News' Diet Rankings. You can read about a LOT of diets here, including all the good and bad points, as decided by US News. A very interesting read for those of us who've made our way around the diet circuit.
Hope you enjoy it as much as I am.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
A Fat Married Lady
The good news? I'm now a married lady!
The bad news? I'm now a fat married lady. (note the missing exclamation point)
I started the 17DD yesterday (my hybrid version, that is), after weighing in at my 5 year high 167 pounds. Unacceptable.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Tuesday
Breakfast:
~ Green monster smoothie: 1/2 banana, 1C unsweetened chocolate almond breeze, 2 scoops whey protein powder, 1.5C spinach
~ 3 cups coffee
309 calories, 30 g carbs, 7 g fat, 35 g protein
Lunch:
~ 1.5 C chili
330 calories, 32 g carbs, 10 g fat, 28 g protein
Dinner:
578 calories, 43 g carbs, 35 g fat, 23 g protein
Snacks:
~ Cheese bun w butter
~ 1/2 Powerbar
~ 1 oz Potato Chips
~ Slice of brown bread w butter
564 calories, 83 g carbs, 23 g fat, 10g protein
Exercise:
~ Strength Training
~ Jogging 10 mins
~ Cycling 85 mins
Daily Totals:
1784 calories (my range is 1200-1550 per day)
188 g carbohydrates (my range is 163-236 per day)
74 g fat (my range is 32-56 per day)
100 g protein (my range is 60-127 per day)
26 g fibre (my range is 25-35 per day)
703 calories burned
* This should give me a calorie deficit of approximately 650 calories.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
The Return of 'This Week's Grocery List'
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Yup, I'm Still OK
But wow, am I afraid.
Did I mention I'm running my first half marathon on Sunday? Off to Ottawa I go for one of the biggest annual running weekends in Canada. Actually, probably THE biggest. What was I thinking?!?
I waver between, "I can do this", to "I wish I'd never signed up for this".
Don't get me wrong. I KNOW I can do this. I trained for it. My legs aren't going to just seize up or anything. It's my head that's the problem. The time I've spent practicing perfectionism is much more than the time I've spent training for this race.
How can I etch into my brain the idea that I don't need to have any expectations? What is wrong with just going out and running for a couple and a half hours? I'm running farther than most people ever will. I already do, on a regular basis.
Not bad for someone who never thought she'd ever want to run further than to the end of the driveway.
And did you know that only 1% of the population ever run a half-marathon or a marathon? That's not many people. That makes this a pretty significant accomplishment. It also makes me a half-wit.
I am trying to heed the advice given in the post above, and be happy with the feat that I am accomplishing and I'll try to remember that no one is concerned with the time it took me to run it.
So take it easy, Tara. Somehow this will work out. You'll get your bib and chip, you'll remember to pack everything you need, you'll make your way to that race, and you'll finish it. And there will be smiling faces waiting for you at the end.
You're good.
AND a huge shout out to people who are even crazier than I am - Niffer and Mousearoo! Marathons?!? Y'all have lost your minds! ;-) See you at the finish line! Medals and bagels for all!
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
So Much To Say
"6K at race pace. I'll be happy with this race pace, if I can keep it up for 21K. I'm going to be happy no matter what - it's time to stop comparing myself to everyone else and enjoy the runner I am.
I'm gonna be one happy runner on Sunday!"
I'm starting to learn that I don't always have to be the best at everything. I don't always need to compare myself to everyone else. I'll never be perfect, and I don't need to be.
So who am I?
I'm one fantastic cook and baker. I know I am. So why am I so hard on myself when something new that I try in the kitchen doesn't turn out just the way I want? I should be happy with the hundreds of other great things I make, and continue to work towards improving this new recipe, then move on to the next inevitable kitchen disaster. Don't great new things come out of muddled attempts at old things?
I'm an IT geek, dedicated to my job. I'm proud of the fact that I am a woman surrounded by men in my field, and that I'm good at what I do. The guys I work with know that I'm good at what I do, and I love showing other people that I should not be underestimated. I love the look of realization that crosses someone's face when I show them what I can do. My co-worker friends and I now joke about how "I'm just a girl". What could I possibly know about anything? *giggle*
I'm an athlete. I've been an athlete my whole life. Basketball, softball, volleyball, running, weight training - I've done it all, and so much more. I may not be the best at any of these things, but I'm certainly no slouch either. I am one tricky little point guard and I can pitch hard all day. I can run futher than most people I know, although I'm not the fastest. That's not to say that I won't be someday. Life has so much more in store for me.
I'm an artist. I create all kinds of wonderful things with my hands. I paint, sew, sketch, mold. I have great vision.
I'm a loyal family member and friend. I would sacrifice anything for the people in my life. I'm a total people pleaser, and others' feelings usually come before my own. I try to be the best daughter, sister, aunt, fiancée, and friend I can be. I hate hurting other peoples' feelings, so I put them ahead of my own. I take on the troubles of the world. Good or bad, it's who I am.
And besides all that? I'm a random combination of the following: soft-hearted, sensitive, sarcastic, funny, a numbers whiz, intelligent, empathetic, emotional, respectful, faithful, and observant. And that's all. ;-)
How boring would life be if you did everything exactly right all the time?
Who are YOU?
Friday, March 18, 2011
Where's Goose?
That's right - I'm at my local Chapters store. I'm standing in front of the Nutrition & Diets section with a blank, lost look on my face. Overwhelmed. Looking for guidance. Waiting for my next solution to jump off the shelf and hit me in the chest.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Are YOU Happy?
I'm sad to think that so many people, including myself, express very openly how unhappy they are. I often wonder too, are people generally more unhappy now than in generations previous? Do we just talk about it more? Or have our lives changed so much compared to what peoples' lives used to be that we're just somehow continually causing our own unhappiness?
I'm rambling, I know.
Either way, I thought it would be good for me to sit and think about things in my life that make me happy (in no particular order):
- My dog. He's always happy to see me, is never in a bad mood, and is a fantastic snuggler.
- Sundays. When I was a kid, I hated Sundays. Now I live for Sundays.
- That boy.
- Good food. I don't care that I shouldn't think about food this way. It's not just fuel to me, and it never will be. It makes me very happy. I'll suffer with a weight problem my whole life before I stop letting food make me happy.
- Books. I surround myself with books. There are always no less than four of them on the arm of the couch next to me, or on the rocking chair next to my bed.
- My bed. I love my bed.
- Good friends.
- Cake. Can't forget cake.
There are so many other things, and I'm sure this list is being highly influenced by the kind of day I had today, but no matter. They make me happy.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Weight Lifting for Dummies
Monday, March 7, 2011
Feel the Love
I hope that doesn't sound too self-centered or proud.
After giving it some thought, I think I know why I feel this way. There are so many reasons.
I know this is going to sound cliche, but I guess I don't know how to better express it. I think I've finally allowed myself to be open to being loved. I know, that sounds terrible, doesn't it? I've always been so stubbornly independent, always telling myself that I was strong and didn't need anyone else. I think that put up a wall around me, whether or not I realized it. Now I'm trying to make it easier for people to love me, not by giving up my independence, but more because I started sharing more of myself, even the parts I'm afraid for people to find out about. The way I see it is that if the people in my life don't love me for who I am, I don't need them in my life.
I've also become part of a large network of people, some of whom have become my best friends. I'm not sure how we all found each other, but we did. I've let them into my life hoping that I'd make some new friends, but not really expecting much. Now they're my best friends, and I have wonderful people to spend time with in almost any city in this country.
I think most of the reason why I feel so loved is because I've started to love and accept who I am. I know, I know, totally corny, but whatever. I like who I am, I'm comfortable who I am. I'd be stuck with me on a deserted island.
To those of you who are an active part of my life, I love you. I'm glad you're my friend. I'm going to take every opportunity I can to let you know, even if I am going to sound like a sentimental loser.
So there.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Food Experiment 2011 -- Day 5
Oatcake (180 cals, 25g carbs, 8g fat, 3g protein, 2g fibre)
175 grams Liberte Plain Greek Yogurt (110 cals, 6g carbs, 1g fat, 20g protein, 0g fibre)
50 grams Liberte Lemon Yogurt (71 cals, 7g carbs, 4g fat, 2g protein, 0g fibre)
1/2 Tbsp Flax Meal (15 cals, 1g carbs, 1g fat, 1g protein, 1g fibre)
Lunch: (7 Momentum pts, 7 PointsPlus pts)
2 C Lettuce (16 cals, 3g carbs, 0g fat, 2g protein, 1.9g fibre)
1/4 C Cucumber (3 cals, 1g carbs, 0g fat, 0g protein, 0.2g fibre)
1 oz Light Feta (60 cals, 0g carbs, 4g fat, 6g protein, 0g fibre)
1 Tbsp Renee's Greek Feta Light Dressing (50 cals, 1g carbs, 5g fat, 0g protein, 0g fibre)
1 C Carrots (52 cals, 12g carbs, 0g fat, 1g protein, 3.6g fibre)
Cheese & Crackers (190 cals, 24g carbs, 9g fat, 3g protein, 0g fibre)
Dinner: (6 Momentum pts, 6 PointsPlus pts)
5 oz Mahi Mahi
3 C Frozen Mixed Vegetables
1/2 Can Low-Fat Condensed Soup
1 tsp Olive Oil
Snack: (5 Momentum pts, 7 PointsPlus pts)
Slice of Sweet Home Alabanana
2 Tbsp Chocolate Chips
Daily Totals:
1380 calories (my range is 1200-1550 per day)
155 g carbohydrates (my range is 163-236 per day)
53 g fat (my range is 32-56 per day)
85 g protein (my range is 60-127 per day)
23 g fibre (my range is 25-35 per day)
26 Momentum pts Used, 28 PointsPlus pts Used
Weekly Totals:
Momentum Weekly Points: -5/35 Remaining, 7/7 APs earned
PointsPlus Weekly Points: 29/49 Remaining, 11 APs earned
Sparkpeople Calorie Differential: -1604 Calories
Food Experiment 2011 -- Day 4
Thomas' Cinnamon Raisin Bagel Thin (110 cals, 25g carbs, 1g fat, 4g protein, 4g fibre)
1 Tbsp Light Peanut Butter (90 cals, 6g carbs, 6g fat, 2g protein, 1g fibre)
1 Banana (125 cals, 32g carbs, 0g fat, 1g protein, 3.2g fibre)
Lunch: (3 Momentum pts, 4 PointsPlus pts)
Multigrain Sandwich Thin (100 cals, 22g carbs, 1g fat, 5g protein, 5g fibre)
1 Tbsp Light Mayonnaise (50 cals, 1g carbs, 5g fat, 0g protein, 0g fibre)
Dinner: (17 Momentum pts, 19 PointsPlus pts)
1/2 C Light Alfredo Sauce (100 cals, 6g carbs, 6g fat, 2g protein, 0g fibre)
2.5 oz Chicken Breast (78 cals, 0g carbs, 1g fat, 16g protein, 0g fibre)
2 Tbsp Light Cream Cheese (60 cals, 2g carbs, 5g fat, 3g protein, 0g fibre)
1/4 C Onion (15 cals, 3g carbs, 0g fat, 0g protein, 0.7g fibre)
2 oz Breadstick (151 cals, 29g carbs, 2g fat, 4g protein, 0g fibre)
2 C Lettuce (16 cals, 3g carbs, 0g fat, 2g protein, 1.9g fibre)
1/4 C Tomatoes (8 cals, 2g carbs, 0g fat, 0g protein, 0.4g fibre)
1/4 C Cucumber (3 cals, 1g carbs, 0g fat, 0g protein, 0.2g fibre)
6 Lg Olives (40 cals, 3g carbs, 3g fat, 0g protein, 1.2g fibre)
1 oz Light Feta (60 cals, 0g carbs, 4g fat, 6g protein, 0g fibre)
2 Tbsp Renee's Greek Feta Light (100 cals, 2g carbs, 10g fat, 1g protein, 0.7g fibre)
Snack: (4 Momentum pts, 4 PointsPlus pts)
Daily Totals:
1487 calories (my range is 1200-1550 per day)
185 g carbohydrates (my range is 163-236 per day)
57 g fat (my range is 32-56 per day)
70 g protein (my range is 60-127 per day)
29 g fibre (my range is 25-35 per day)
29 Momentum pts Used, 32 PointsPlus pts Used
Weekly Totals:
Momentum Weekly Points: -1/35 Remaining, 6/7 APs earned
PointsPlus Weekly Points: 29/49 Remaining, 11 APs earned
Sparkpeople Calorie Differential: -1604 Calories
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Food Experiment 2001 -- Day 3
Breakfast: (4 Momentum pts, 4 PointsPlus pts)
1/2 C Liberte FF Plain Greek Yogurt (79 cals, 4g carbs, 1g fat, 14g protein, 0g fibre)
1/2 C Liberte Mediterranee Lemon Yogurt (107 cals, 11g carbs, 6g fat, 3g protein, 0g fibre)
3/4 C Blueberries (61 cals, 15g carbs, 0g fat, 1g protein, 2.9g fibre)
1/2 Tbsp Flax Meal (15 cals, 1g carbs, 1g fat, 1g protein, 1g fibre)
Lunch: (9 Momentum pts, 10 PointsPlus pts)
3/4 TH Egg and Cheese Breakfast Sandwich (233 cals, 24g carbs, 10g fat, 12g protein, 0.8g fibre)
Dinner: (20 Momentum pts, 23 PointsPlus pts)
Fish Sandwich with Cheese (523 cals, 48g carbs, 29g fat, 21g protein, 3g fibre)
Snack: (20 Momentum pts, 23 PointsPlus pts)
Daily Totals:
1755 calories (my range is 1200-1550 per day)
183 g carbohydrates (my range is 163-236 per day)
83 g fat (my range is 32-56 per day)
79 g protein (my range is 60-127 per day)
13 g fibre (my range is 25-35 per day)
35 Momentum pts Used, 42 PointsPlus pts Used
Weekly Totals:
Momentum Weekly Points: 4/35 Remaining, 7 APs earned
PointsPlus Weekly Points: 32/49 Remaining, 11 APs earned
Sparkpeople Calorie Differential: -683 Calories, -581 Calories, -36 Calories
Friday, February 18, 2011
Food Experiment 2011 -- Day 2
On to day 2...
Breakfast: (4 Momentum pts, 4 PointsPlus pts)
2/3 C Liberte FF Plain Greek Yogurt (110 cals, 6g carbs, 1g fat, 20g protein, 0g fibre)
1/8 C Liberte Mediterranee Lemon Yogurt (36 cals, 4g carbs, 2g fat, 1g protein, 0g fibre)
3/4 C Blueberries (61 cals, 15g carbs, 0g fat, 1g protein, 2.9g fibre)
1/2 Tbsp Flax Meal (15 cals, 1g carbs, 1g fat, 1g protein, 1g fibre)
Lunch: (9 Momentum pts, 9 PointsPlus pts)
1 oz Roast Beef (57 cals, 0g carbs, 2g fat, 9g protein, 0g fibre)
2 oz White Bread (151 cals, 29g carbs, 2g fat, 4g protein, 1.4g fibre)
1/2 Tbsp Mayonnaise (45 cals, 0g carbs, 5g fat, 0g protein, 0g fibre)
1 oz Swiss Cheese (107 cals, 1g carbs, 8g fat, 8g protein, 0g fibre)
1 C Baby Carrots (52 cals, 12g carbs, 0g fat, 1g protein, 3.6g fibre)
Dinner: (12 Momentum pts, 14 PointsPlus pts)
14 Tostitos Multigrain Chips (260 cals, 32g carbs, 12g fat, 3g protein, 3g fibre)
3 oz Chicken Breast (94 cals, 0g carbs, 1g fat, 20g protein, 0g fibre)
1/4 C Barbecue Sauce (47 cals, 8g carbs, 1g fat, 1g protein, 0g fibre)
1/4 C Yellow Corn (33 cals, 8g carbs, 0g fat, 1g protein, 0.8g fibre)
1/4 C Light Sour Cream (70 cals, 6g carbs, 3g fat, 2g protein, 0g fibre)
1/2 C Chopped Green Peppers (19 cals, 5g carbs, 0g fat, 1g protein, 0.8g fibre)
1/2 C Salsa (36 cals, 8g carbs, 0g fat, 2g protein, 2.1g fibre)
1/4 C Chopped Onions (15 cals, 3g carbs, 0g fat, 0g protein, 0.7g fibre)
Snack:
Activity:
Daily Totals:
1208 calories (my range is 1200-1550 per day)
138 g carbohydrates (my range is 163-236 per day)
39 g fat (my range is 32-56 per day)
74 g protein (my range is 60-127 per day)
17 g fibre (my range is 25-35 per day)
25 Momentum pts Used, 27 PointsPlus pts Used
Weekly Totals:
Momentum Weekly Points: 23/35 Remaining, 3 APs earned
PointsPlus Weekly Points: 45/49 Remaining, 4 APs earned
Sparkpeople Calorie Differential: -683 Calories, -581 Calories
Thursday, February 17, 2011
This has gone on long enough
I'm dedicating myself right now to doing the following for at least the next 7 days:
- I'm going to post a daily menu for all to read.
- I'm going to re-live my food experiment of a couple of years ago, comparing WW PointsPlus point values to Sparkpeople nutritional values, to WW Momentum points values.
I'm going to see what's not working and why.
I need to get rid of my newest 20-pound monkey.
Food Experiment 2011 -- Day 1
2/3 C Liberte FF Plain Greek Yogurt (110 cals, 6g carbs, 1g fat, 20g protein, 0g fibre)
1/3 C Liberte Mediterranee Lemon Yogurt (71 cals, 7g carbs, 4g fat, 2g protein, 0g fibre)
3/4 C Blueberries (61 cals, 15g carbs, 0g fat, 1g protein, 2.9g fibre)
1 Tbsp Flax Meal (30 cals, 2g carbs, 2g fat, 2g protein, 2g fibre)
Lunch: (8 Momentum pts, 8 PointsPlus pts)
1 Personal Size Veggie Pizza (315 cals, 39g carbs, 12g fat, 13g protein, 2.4g fibre)
1 Cup Raw Carrots (52 cals, 12g carbs, 0g fat, 1g protein, 3.6g fibre)
Dinner: (16 Momentum pts, 17 PointsPlus pts)
12" Subway Ham Sub with all veggies, mayo (685 cals, 99g carbs, 18g fat, 36g protein, 8g fibre)
Snack: (4 Momentum pts, 4 PointsPlus pts)
3C Orville Redenblahblah's Nacho Popcorn (180 cals, 15g carbs, 13g fat, 2g protein, 3g fibre)
1 Light Cheese String (60 cals, 0g carbs, 3g fat, 6g protein, 0g fibre)
Activity: (-3 Momentum pts, -4 PointsPlus pts)
Downhill skiing for 2+ hours (I'm estimating 1 hour): 360 calories burned
Daily Totals:
1533 calories (my range is 1200-1550 per day)
195 g carbohydrates (my range is 163-236 per day)
51 g fat (my range is 32-56 per day)
81 g protein (my range is 60-127 per day)
20 g fibre (my range is 25-35 per day)
33 Momentum pts Used, 34 PointsPlus pts Used
Weekly Totals:
Momentum Weekly Points: 31/35 Remaining
PointsPlus Weekly Points: 45/49 Remaining
Sparkpeople Calorie Differential: -683 Calories